Truth: I am a control freak.
Myth: This is subdued when I’m writing.
I am a control freak. There’s no tip-toeing around the subject.
I like to do things a certain way. In fact, with some things I’m so specific that I don’t even let others attempt to help me. It’s that bad.
In a world where so much is out of my control, I will admit that I suffer from some unprescribed anxiety. While I am learning to let things go and face fears, a place where my control kicks in to gear is with my writing.
But it’s a GOOD kind of control.
You see, there’s a sort of freedom to this control.
As my characters come to life, they help me realize that I can’t control everything. Somehow they take on minds of their own, and I have to sometimes go away from my original plan and follow their lead. But at the same time, I AM in control… because it’s my story.
(I promise I’m not crazy. Well… maybe a little.)
So why is this a GOOD type of control?
It’s a control that doesn’t cause anxiety. It’s a control that allows me to be creative, to get lost in the beauty, to forget the cares and uncontrollable problems that the real world offers.
And that’s also the beauty of reading.
I may not be able to control someone else’s actions, or make days go exactly as I planned, or understand the thrill of the unknown… but I can see the beauty of it all in a story.
There’s beauty in someone’s car not starting. There’s beauty in being lost at sea. There’s beauty in the secrets of a dusty old mansion. There’s beauty in the unknown future.
Andit helps my control-freak nature.
I don’t use the phrase or label “control freak” lightly. I use it because I know what I am, and I know reading and my writing helps.
Does your love of reading or writing help relieve any problems you suffer from?
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